Advocacy and being pushy can help a family in trouble

Published July 23, 2005


A former justice of the peace whose quick thinking may have helped prevent her brother from jumping off the Pattullo Bridge several years ago is calling for more public awareness about mental health issues.

Mary, who asked that her real name not be used, said her clinically depressed brother is doing well today, but only because he takes his medication, has family members who are willing to step in and help and because she's pushy.

"So many people are vulnerable to these feelings of helplessness and worthlessness," said the woman, who is now a stay-at-home mother with two small children. "I was once told that depression can be like someone else has crawled into your skin.

"Depression interferes with your ability to think logically. You get psychosis and voices tell you that this (suicide) is the rational thing to do."

Mary remembers one time, after her brother voluntarily admitted himself to hospital for observation, when hospital staff were forced to let him leave the psychiatric ward even though they were still concerned about his state of mind. Mary, who knew the hospital staff because she lived only a block away, received a phone call saying her brother was talking about the bridge and other high places.

Mary immediately called police - whom she also knew through her work - who dispatched a patrol vehicle to the bridge, where they found her brother.

"He was standing there throwing coins off the bridge. I'm just glad he didn't run out of coins."

Mary said her brother is doing fine today, thanks in some small part to the fact that his sister is well-connected and knows what buttons to push.

"I've really had to be proactive and pushy. Even today, he gets his medication provided for, but he has no talk therapy at all, even though all the research shows that a combination of medication and cognitive behaviour modification are what works best," she said. "I think a lot of the reason why my brother is doing so well today is because there was a lot of advocacy and I know how to be pushy."

Mary also said it is important for families to speak openly about mental health issues if one of their relatives either displays the signs of depression or has a clinical diagnosis.

"I've spoken to my children - even the little guy," she said. "What I say is, 'If you're feeling really sad - tell me.' I think it's really important with children that they know there is always a way out of a problem. Nothing is insurmountable.

"Hopefully, by putting out that information now, if they do have a depressive episode later in life, they can draw back to that early learning."